1.

Focus on your strengths - So many of us are brought up in a culture where it is considered bad form to put yourself first. We are told off as children and criticised as adults so much that we focus on our weaknesses. This can severely limit the love that we have to give.

Stop right now and write down a list of your qualities and strengths – at least 10.
How easy did you find that? We spend so much of our time focusing on our faults, that we often over look our good points! By changing your view of yourself, you open yourself to love.

2.

Take time for you! - Plan now to take some time for you this week. Even if it is half an hour soaking in the bath, relaxing on the sofa or taking a walk. Looking after yourself will increase your feelings of worth and you are worth taking care of. Eating nutritiously and taking exercise will help you feel revitalised and fresh. Taking care of you is a very important step in loving yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you may feel that you are unlovable by someone else. At best, this can make you doubt any expressions of love that you receive. At worst, it can even make you repel those who want to love you and that can result in the collapse of a relationship.

3.

Build your self esteem - It may be easier for you to think about self love in terms of self esteem. Self esteem is the estimate or worth we put on ourselves. Every truly happy and successful person has high self-esteem. This is not the same as arrogance or conceit; it is about giving as much credibility to your positive qualities as you do to all the others.

Once you have addressed the issue of self esteem, then everything else just falls into place. The process of increasing self esteem is simple, gradual and very effective. The biggest pay off is that when you have done it once; you have it for all time. Then you become truly aware that you can be, do or have whatever you want in life - and that includes love.

We are all born with a good self esteem. What subsequently happens is that we remember all the negative things that others tell us about ourselves and these can swamp our opinions about the good qualities that we have. Decide to base your impressions of your self on what you truly know to be true instead of the opinions of others. Keep your list of strengths and qualities close by to remind yourself of your true worth.

4.

Develop positive self talk - Many people have a gremlin that sits on their shoulders and undermines their confidence and self esteem. Have you noticed how you talk to yourself? I bet you wouldn’t talk to your best friend the same way you talk to yourself. You can change this self talk now! You can make it a kind, caring voice which is nurturing and encouraging. Change it to the voice of a loved one or someone you admire, maybe a mentor? This way you can be your own best friend.
'My thoughts weave the tapestry of my life' - Louise L Hay'

5.

Stop searching! - I often hear people saying when I have this car or when I have a partner or find more friends I’ll be happy. Well these are external trappings that will not make you happy in the long run. Happiness begins with feeling whole as you are.
‘You are that which you seek’- Brandon Bays.

Be content with who you are and complete in yourself. Contentment comes from accepting yourself as you are – warts and all. Contentment will bring you peace and peace will bring you an energy which is contagious.

6.

Take a different perspective – We are not what happens to us, but what we do with it. Terrible events happen that we have no control over. We do have control over how we look at them though. You can choose to look at things differently now. Try this exercise below -

Choose an experience that you see as a tragedy now, but one that you would like to see differently. List 10 things that you see as terrible about the event. Now list 10 things that are positive about it. Consider the positive changes that have occurred in you and in others because of it. Look at both lists. Which would you rather focus on?

7.

Connect with others - We all need people. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Give them friendship and love. Show them that they are important to you. As you exude love to others unconditionally – it will come back to you. The universe conspires to give you what you need.
‘We are born to make manifest the glory of the universe that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same’ – Marianne Williamson